Ten minutes
You want me to do what?
I stared at him in disbelief, not because of what he was asking me to do, but because I was the newest member of this clique and I barely knew these guys. And they didn't know me except for what little I had told them in the mock interview I did, which barely concealed my laughter and lies as I sat at one end of a long table in a seedy downtown bar while the four of them sat across from me throwing shots back and questions forward. I have always been an avid liar, able to pour my imagination onto my tongue, liberating the most vivid aspects of my tortured mind. My face remained blank as I took my time studying them, not questioning their seriousness but their audacity in believing I would do what they wanted me to do. It wasn't out of the ordinary, nor violent, grotesque or dangerous. It was a game to them, I a mere pawn, and this bar would turn into the game board if I nodded my head. Cigarette smoke rose into my streaked eyes and I turned away to feast my eyes on the sexy unknowing bartender who was just about to participate in a bizarre ritual de lo habitual that I realized later this band of elfin hooligans had propagated over and over again through out the city.


Another Ten minutes
I laughed so hard...
Spit flew out of my mouth, boogers dropped from my nose in runny bombs and I think my ears even popped. Everyday life is absurd and funny enough but when you throw an unsuspecting cat lazily preening itself on a sunny patch of driveway and an inquisitive old dog into the mix, the entire day, even the week, becomes lighter and more entertaining. We were returning from a morning stroll, nothing early but it was before noon and there was still a touch of chill in the air. Cherry blossom trees were blooming red and white all over the city and spreading the wonderful bouquet of spring down the street. I don't usually pay too much attention to Abby when she walks because she is old, smart and not likely to bother anyone or anything. But today, she ambled up this driveway in all honest dogness looking to sniff a little kitty, not scare the piss out of it. The striped tabby with the gently swishing tail had her back turned to the approaching Abby and therefore had no idea what was happening, so when she shot into the air vertically with a screech and all five appendages splayed, fear and laughter rushed over us respectively. A five foot standing vertical leap is almost impossible, but with the grace and ease of a practiced feline, this cat accomplished it and hit the ground in stride, disappearing as quickly as she could, leaving both Abby and in disbelief, and me in hysterics.